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My hometown: A week of fireflies, messy conversations and distant train whistles in the night

We are just off the plane when things start to get complicated. At the rental counter I’m dizzy as a two-headed calf, trying to solve the chronic riddle of whether we will return our car with the tank empty or full, which involves a lot of instant calculus regarding local gas prices.Our clerk Nicole insists: “Full or empty, sir?”Been a long day. I’ve been pantsed by the TSA, side-swiped by a drink cart and pulled my left schnitzel just trying to slip into the plane’s tiny loo. Over Iowa, I realized our connecting flight was some sort of crop-duster. Now they want me to answer AP math problems.“It’s only money, Nicole,” I say. “What do you suggest?”Eventually we decide to go with the empt ...